Available Items

Regina's Story that Came with Owl Man: 

This is the story Ariane submitted with her trade offer:

I made this giant cigarette painting out of an existing oil painting of buddha on linen, vintage coupons from packs of cigarettes (that I traded for on bARTersauce) and cheap craft paint. It is awesome and disgusting. It makes people feel like they have smoked 40 cigarettes at once when they look at it. A good friend of mine recently saw it for the first time and said, "Gross, I hate it."

Nik's story submitted with the Vampire Captain Bobblehead trade offer: 

Two months ago my grandmother passed away. She was a hoarder of everything porceilain. For months I've been moving little Hummel statues, charming figurines, foofy tea pots, victorian dishes from one side of the house to the other. There were millions of them.

Debra's Story Submitted with Yoni Art Quilt:

Back in 2007 there was a "yoni" quilt challenge that I decided to enter through the Quiltart listserve. The resulting piece (9.5" x 11") is abstractly realistic such that you know pretty readily what it is.

There are not very many venues that looking to display yonis. Sad, but true,......so the poor thing has been languishing ever since. No yoni should languish. She needs to get out into the world and see things,....be with other people.

Read the story Glenda submitted with Ms. Thang, a.k.a. Lizard Face:

Rebekah's Story That Came With the Ceramic Doll Sculpture

This may not be for anyone squeamish or any man at all. In 1997, I got to observe a really amazing event. The vasectomy of my now ex-husband. The doctor was all too willing to let me watch. H, as he shall be known, was invited to lay on the exam table, his junk exposed and properly shaved. The doctor chuckled as he taped his member to his lower (hair covered, I might add) abdomen. He was then given a shot of anesthetic.

Rebekah's Story That Came With Ceramic Necklace

Cory's Story that came with Wedding Day Disaster Barbie

For my story, I chose to share an embarrassing one. I took my son to the grocery store one day when he was around 2 or 3. He was at that stage where he still kind of wobbled along really slowly when he walked but he was grouchy and defiant and sometimes it was easier to be patient than try to carry him and suffer the inevitable tantrum.

Dominique said he would send his story in three separate emails...so far I have received two installments:

Jessamyn's story that came with Decoupage Tape Box:

The decoupaged cassette tape carrier has a sticker from the band A Gun That Shoots Knives. I like this band because of how they have songs about dinosaurs and chocolate donuts. One time I went to a show where they had turned the theater into a prehistoric jungle with sweet palm trees and volcanoes.

Read Travis' Story That Came With 'Sunset Window'

The day after yesterday I turned the corner in my car and faced with a 20% downhill grade that ended with a T intersection and I5 30ft below the barrier I wondered if I'd be projected through the window or had enough momentum to break past the barrier in a 6000 lb SUV Swan-dive.

Then I said to myself outloud like Butch or Sundance,  "let's do it."

I haven't laughed that long in a while. Moral: Never lose your sense of humor.

Nik's Story that came with Transvestite Robot:

A story. An awesome one.

I'm going to solve Earth's biggest riddle! I figured out the meaning of life, I started looking at the universe as a whole and realized that the human race over complicates everything. Kind of like if you're waiting for someone, you don't know where they are, you start inventing scenarios. That's where we get religion. So scratch that.

Jessica's Story about "Slowsalie"

Rosalie is very disappointed in me. I broke her heart and now I must pay my penance. In exchange for her "moving on" from this disappointment, I must fulfill three promises. First, I had to write her a letter and mail it. I'm working on the lovely package now (note, I use the word package as a double entendre). Second, I have to have quarterly crafting meetings with her. Third, I have to complete a baRTer Sauce trade.