Skip to main content

baby

warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/bartersa/public_html/modules/taxonomy/taxonomy.pages.inc on line 33.

Robot Baby Picture

Original Owner: 
Coy Powers
Robot Baby Hybrid, An Item In bARTer Sauce

Coy's story that came with Robot Baby Picture:

RX23 was very excited when his son arrived from the factory, hoping he would end the rift between the families. Being PC and American to boot, while his wife was pure 100% Japanese engineering (Honda), meant that many thought they would be totally incompatible. RX23 took it all in stride, though.

The families fought on occasion, as is to be expected, and his wife's family, was always the more sophisticated of the two, but still, they loved each other.

Creepy Rhinstone Baby

Creepy Rhinstone Baby
Creepy Rhinstone Baby

And now for the Pizza Duh Resistence

(I don't know how to spell that so I'm trying to cover with comedy. Much like illiterate adults, I mask my pain by being the life of the party. I AM. Shut up thoughts in my head.)

Punk Rock Baby Farm Diorama

Original Owner: 
Meghan
Diorama Depicting A Farm Where Rebellious Infants Are Raised

Here's Meghan's story about "Punk Rock Baby Farm":

It was in a Safeway parking lot where I had my first notion of the conspiracy. I pulled into an angle spot and as I was gathering up the possessions I would need for grocery shopping, I looked left, out my driver's side window, and into the passenger's side window of a minivan. My eyes fell upon the thin hair of a baby's head - no older than a year.

Only seeing the back of its head, I couldn't figure out if it was a girl baby or a boy baby (as this is always my response when I meet someone new). It must have sensed me looking at it because slowly... very slowly... it began to turn its head toward me. Its eyes were narrowed in a sinister glare which held me frozen for a moment and sucked the breath from my body.

As the baby trapped me in its gaze, it reached around its body and pulled out a switchblade. With precision skill, it flipped open the knife and ran the blade across its tongue. That's when the mother of the baby got back in the car and they began to drive away. And instead of saying, "hey lady! Your baby is from Hell!" or, "hey lady! You know you're supposed to have children up to seven years of age in the back seat, right?" or, "hey lady! You dropped a twenty!" I just sat there. Paralyzed. Not with fear, but with wonder.

I sat there as the minivan drove away, baby eyes following me until they turned the corner. I sat there and watched as someone else pocketed her cash. I sat there in wonder.

And then I knew what I had to do. I had to find the reason - the explanation - to solve the mystery! But first I had to get my groceries. So, after I did that, I spent the next ten years of my life chasing after this baby conspiracy. I know it's hard to believe, but somewhere in the southern region of Melbourne Australia - hidden away by the producers of Lost - is a Punk Rock Baby Farm.

Syndicate content