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Cory Trades Me Wedding Day Disaster Barbie for Saint Adolph Wolfli

Cory Parsons and Saint Adolph Wolfli, A bARTer Sauce Trade

Even though Cory made something terrifying...

I still made her answer my "interview" questions. Read on in awe and wonder.

Q. How large is the largest stick you've ever dragged around behind you threateningly?
A: Well I have waved a pretend Harry Potter wand quite menacingly at people but I don't think I've dragged a large stick.

Q. Do you prefer crunchy or smooth peanut butter?

Wedding Day Disaster Barbie

Original Owner: 
Wedding Day Disaster Barbie, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Wedding Day Disaster Barbie, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Wedding Day Disaster Barbie, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Wedding Day Disaster Barbie, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Wedding Day Disaster Barbie, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Wedding Day Disaster Barbie, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Wedding Day Disaster Barbie, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Wedding Day Disaster Barbie, An Item in bARTer Sauce

Cory's Story that came with Wedding Day Disaster Barbie

For my story, I chose to share an embarrassing one. I took my son to the grocery store one day when he was around 2 or 3. He was at that stage where he still kind of wobbled along really slowly when he walked but he was grouchy and defiant and sometimes it was easier to be patient than try to carry him and suffer the inevitable tantrum.

Lauren Trades Me 25 Door Plates for Boobs Over My Hammy

Lauren with her bARTer Sauce trade: Boobs Over My Hammy

Lauren's Answers to my Annoying Interview Questions:

Dear Rosalie,

I posted a photo of the door plate along with my face in the picture. I hope you enjoyed it, I am thee most photogenic person I know.

As for the interview questions:

1. My foot is a size 8 or 9, it always depends on the shoe. The actual length of my foot is 25 cm in length and no, I will not give you the measurement in inches because I am Canadian and I'm sure you can figure it out. (1 in=2.5 cm)

Jaden Trades Me Snoop Doggy Dog for Hula Barbie

Jaden and I trading Snoop Doggy Dog for Hula Barbie

It's been a long while since I've told an actual story.

Hula Barbie

Original Owner: 
Hula Girl Barbie
Hula Girl Barbie

Will's story about Hula Barbie:

I got a hula girl and wanted to ironically stick it on my dashboard as a nod to the society's false sense of fifties nostalgia. NOBODY picked up on this. They just thought I was a faggot with a hula girl. The hula girl mocked me from her place on the dash. Every turn was a derisive laugh and nod. Every wiggle of her skirt a smack to my failure as a social commentator.

Lauri Trades me 5' Tall Asian Woman Sculpture for Barbie Monster Fish

Lauri and Rosalie trading Barbie Fish Monster for an Asian Statue
Asian statue in the trunk of our car

So Lauri lost the Laffhole competition

But just barely.

I don't think she really wanted to haul this sculpture/doll thing back home again, so I traded her backstage. Okay, okay, I'm making it sound like I wasn't jumping up and down yelling, "Oh, come on! Trade me! Come on!" which I wasn't. At least not on the outside.

I gave Lauri the prized Barbie Monster Fish that I got from Ariane who lives in Wyoming and made a cardboard cutout of me. Lauri better take really good care of it. Or she'll have me to deal with.

Barbie Fish Monster

Original Owner: 
Saddam Hussein Rinding A Pink Fish That Has A Barbie Head In Its Mouth

Ariane's Story about Barbie Monster Fish:

"Barbie Monster Fish" [is] a sculpture I made for multiple reasons, but mostly there was a fiberglass fish class that was short on participants so I took it, and people were making really crazy shit out of fiberglass fish forms and I was feeling competitive. And fat.

Ariane trades me Barbie Monster Fish for Cat Painting

Woman With Her Arm Around Carboard Cutout of a Woman Holding Barbie Fish Monster

Ariane is a facilities and program manager at a small (very small) visual art center in Gillette Wyoming.

She mainly works with clay, but as the art center programs gal, she can't stand the embarrasment artists have to go through when thier classes don't fill-up, so she takes a lot of random classes. Like the Taxidermy Fish Form Alteration Workshop. She knows, She scheduled it. It sounded good at the time?

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