kitty

Nik's Story that arrived with the Glitter Cats:

A friend invited me to one of the members of an industrial band called Gridlock's Birthday. He told me on his 21st birthday his friends thought it'd be fun to take him to a 25cent peep show parlor. All he had was a 5 so when he got change he had this almost uncontrollable pile of quarters cupped in his hand. So he's putting the quarters in and watching the show when some slip out and fall to the ground. The stripper stops and waves her arms in a "No! Don't do it!" fashion. When he looks down he sees the floor is caked in men's "leavings", so much so one of the quarters stood upright.

bARTer Sauce would like to add: That's a horrible story Nik. Not in the normal way that your stories are horrible -- this one is horrible in a totally new way. Congratulations!

Nik's Story that arrived with the Glitter Cat:

I have a corpse named Lucky that I make everyone pose with when they come over. He was traded to be by Kevin Klemm of Girls and Corpses magazine. He's named Lucky because he was the leprechaun corpse from the March issue. I dream of one day luring Rosalie out to California so I can add to my collection of photos called "Victims of Lucky Harms".

Okay, I love Kelly Lyles.

We all know that. She's been a huge supporter of bARTer Sauce from the beginning. And because of that, I decided to consider this trade offer - a cat shaped lawn ornament for the awesomest lamp ever made out of popsicle sticks and rhinestones.

Kelly's story that came with the Shameful Cat Shaped Lawn Art: 

It's after midnight, I stop being funny at 12. I can either get online tomorrow night at 11 pm to trade, or just go with the facts tonight.

Kelly Lyles was kind enough to trade me a ton of her prints in exchange for the Microwave Love Tester Diorama.

All the prints are from her rodent series. Here's what she says about them:

"These paintings came about in response to the constant questions about my art-car, Leopard Bernstein. "Are you a Leo?" "You must really identify with leopards." None of the above.

Kelly Lyles was kind enough to trade me a ton of her prints in exchange for the Microwave Love Tester Diorama.

All the prints are from her rodent series. Here's what she says about them:

"These paintings came about in response to the constant questions about my art-car, Leopard Bernstein. "Are you a Leo?" "You must really identify with leopards." None of the above.

Kelly Lyles was kind enough to trade me a ton of her prints in exchange for the Microwave Love Tester Diorama.

All the prints are from her rodent series. Here's what she says about them:

"These paintings came about in response to the constant questions about my art-car, Leopard Bernstein. "Are you a Leo?" "You must really identify with leopards." None of the above.