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Nicolas Caesar

Nik Caesar Trades Me 'Kids With Guns Mug' in Exchange for the House Hat

Nicolas Caesar, A bARTer Sauce Trader

Nicolas Caesar runs scary-art.com and makes art that would seem at home in your most terrifying nightmares.
A few things happenend in my life that made it take about six-months to complete this trade.

Kids With Guns Mug

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce

Nik's Story that Came with the Kids With Guns Mug:

"I found this at Goodwill next to all the discarded wedding toast glasses, plastic A's cups, and granny shot glasses. I have no idea what the story is behind it but for 99cent - I rescued it. It's definitely someone's art project but the grim imagery raises a lot of questions. Even my most twisted friends don't want it. I'm sure it'll ruin people's feng shui. It'd make a great gag gift for creating uncomfortable silences."

Vampire Captain Bobblehead

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
bARTer Sauce Item: Captain Vampire Bobblehead
bARTer Sauce Item: Captain Vampire Bobblehead
bARTer Sauce Item: Captain Vampire Bobblehead
bARTer Sauce Item: Captain Vampire Bobblehead
bARTer Sauce Item: Captain Vampire Bobblehead
bARTer Sauce Item: Captain Vampire Bobblehead

Nik's story submitted with the Vampire Captain Bobblehead trade offer: 

Two months ago my grandmother passed away. She was a hoarder of everything porceilain. For months I've been moving little Hummel statues, charming figurines, foofy tea pots, victorian dishes from one side of the house to the other. There were millions of them.

Nik Trades Me Vampire Captain Bobblehead for Dancing FIgures Painting

bARTer Sauce Trade with Nicolas Caesar: Remixed into I'm Full of Tapeworms
bARTer Sauce Trade with Nicolas Caesar: Remixed into I'm Full of Tapeworms
bARTer Sauce Trade with Nicolas Caesar: Remixed into I'm Full of Tapeworms

Nik has answered so many "interview" questions at this point I wasn't  sure there would be anything else we could learn about him. I've basically unzipped him, turned him inside-out and shaken him until all of his insides spilled out all over in previous interviews. I was fortunate that I saw him posting on Facebook about moving a lot recently. Finally. Something new to talk about! Also, I ended up mailing his package to the wrong address (still claim this is not my fault) so we cover that as well.

Elvis T-shirt and Stand

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Elvis T-shirt Stand, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Elvis T-shirt Stand, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Elvis T-shirt Stand, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Elvis T-shirt Stand, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Elvis T-shirt Stand, An Item in bARTer Sauce
Elvis T-shirt Stand, An Item in bARTer Sauce

In lieu of a story, Nik sent this poem about the bARTer Sauce show at Sideshow studios in California

Twas the day of the 'Sauce
and everyone was invited
people came from miles around
all were excited
Some discovered the 'Sauce
for the very first time
Others had always been there
and sometimes can rhyme
There was talk of toast,
donkeys, miniature frogs, and tobacco
smurf porn, fisting cooking shows

Nik Trades Me Elvis T-Shirt and Stand for Japanese Animal Toasts

Lucky Harms holding a Nicolas Caesar original painting

Note from The Sauce: Nik tries hard to remember the Sideshow Studios bARTer Sauce art show.

I think I should point out that it wouldn't be nearly as hard to recall if Nik would have sent me this story months ago when the art show actually took place. Ah well. 

Nik: 
So It's hard to recall the show. That was many drinks ago. But from what I remember it went like this - everyone who walked in was taken back. It was definitely an unfamiliar premise. And being that little or no cash was involved was really a shock. But as they ventured into unfamiliar territory they suddenly let their guards down to embrace that flea market kind of treasure-hunting excitement. People then remarked about all the things they had in their studios, garages, and attics. That wore off as soon as they were aware paperwork was involved. "What should I write?", they asked. "A story about anything", I replied, almost grudgingly because after the umpteen stories I've written for Barter Sauce these noobs can come up with at least one! (Note from The Sauce: I seem to remember a little grumbling from Mr. Nik as well. Perhaps.)

Some patrons actually did their research and came in ready to trade. Others were still confused and overcomplicated the easy. I still think the act of bartering is something the rest of the planet has a hard time relating to if they never worked retail. Every retail job I've had I've traded coffee for pizza and film for smoothies. As an artist I trade art for art. At bARTer Sauce I trade clown paintings for weird items. Watching Jerry Springer -  some women trade sex for chicken nuggets. It's all good.

Jesamyn Trades Me Potato Bunny Pamphlet for Nik Caesar's Self Portrait

bARTer Sauce Trade

Jessamyn - like everyone else I trade with - was forced at gunpoint to answer my "interview" questions:

Q: Have you ever made your own mustard?
A. No, although I love mustard with a fiery passion.

Q: Have you ever had impure thoughts about field roast?
A. I try to never think of Field Roast. Thanks a lot for reminding me.

Q: If you could punch anything in nature, what would it be?
A. It would be the sun; I would punch it right in its stupid face.

Rachael trades me Headless Gabriel for Bad Kid

Rachael doing her impression of Bad Kid

Rachael was kind enough to tolerate some of my "interview" questions.

She was the winner of the 2010 bARTer Sauce Trade Off. She competed against another Sauce trader for the Bad Kid painting. They each submitted their trade offer and stories and then folks voted on who I should trade with by leaving comments. Rachael won! Yay! She's a winner!

Have some fun learning basically nothing important about her: 

Q: What size books do you prefer? 

Nik Trades me Jar Man and Self Portrait for Glitter Face and Blow Up Scream

Mosquito and Spider on bARTer Sauce
Mosquito and Spider on bARTer Sauce
Mosquito and Spider on bARTer Sauce

Instead of sending Nik "interview" questions, I'm posting the rejection letter he received from Michael Frank, Curator-in-Chief of Museum of Bad Art.

Nicholas,

Nicolas Caesar Self Portrait

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Nicolas Caesar, a self portrait

Nik's story that came with his self-portrait:

I do a lot of trades. A LOT of trades! Rosalie can tell you I do more trades than a crackhead does crack. (NOTE from The Sauce: I once had to ban Nik from the bARTer Sauce website for the summer so I could do something other than sit behind the computer and update his trades.) Though that's assuming Rosalie has met and befriended crackheads. I don't think she does. People who buy organic fruit don't often hang with them. I think it's because you can't smoke fruit. Most fruit.

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