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Nicolas Caesar

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Aku Aku Book

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Aku Aku - an item in bARTer Sauce
Aku Aku - an item in bARTer Sauce
Aku Aku - an item in bARTer Sauce
Aku Aku - an item in bARTer Sauce
Aku Aku - an item in bARTer Sauce

This is a vintage book by Thor Heyerdahl, the writer of Kon-Tiki that popularized tiki culture in the 60's.

Here he goes to Easter Island and does stuff. A lot of stuff. I didn't read it. It has a bunch of cool pictures in it though. 62 of them! And it's big! Like it'll stand out on your book shelf and if you're into tiki culture - your friends will be impressed with this find. Maybe you can read it too. I'm sure it's a pretty good book. You can keep it near the toilet and imagine you're on an island full of iguanas that aren't afraid of people. Islands are great.

Nik Trades Me Last Supper Statue for Steam Powered Top Hat

Nik and Something about PBS or Something

Nik's "Interview" questions that I made him make up himself and then answer.

Q: What's the worst thing about spongebaths? 

Last Supper Statue

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Last Supper Statue
Last Supper Statue
Last Supper Statue

Nik's Story that came with Last Supper Statue

I wanted to write a story about Ugly Baby robots, tons of them, like Terminator 4, and - like Doug - they didn't talk. They just fired their lasers and turned everyone into Shower Art. Then you would trade them out to other planets and get all sorts of crazy and weird stuff. But the swine flu isn't helping the brain to work. 
 

bARTer Sauce Gets a Lesson in Steampunk-ology

 
 
And boy, if that isn't just what I need - increased thinking power.

Two Two Two Glitter Cats

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Glitter Cat Pillow Cover
Cat Pillow Cover

Nik's Story that arrived with the Glitter Cats:

A friend invited me to one of the members of an industrial band called Gridlock's Birthday. He told me on his 21st birthday his friends thought it'd be fun to take him to a 25cent peep show parlor. All he had was a 5 so when he got change he had this almost uncontrollable pile of quarters cupped in his hand. So he's putting the quarters in and watching the show when some slip out and fall to the ground. The stripper stops and waves her arms in a "No! Don't do it!" fashion. When he looks down he sees the floor is caked in men's "leavings", so much so one of the quarters stood upright.

bARTer Sauce would like to add: That's a horrible story Nik. Not in the normal way that your stories are horrible -- this one is horrible in a totally new way. Congratulations!

One One One Glitter Cat

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Glitter Cat Pillow Cover

Nik's Story that arrived with the Glitter Cat:

I have a corpse named Lucky that I make everyone pose with when they come over. He was traded to be by Kevin Klemm of Girls and Corpses magazine. He's named Lucky because he was the leprechaun corpse from the March issue. I dream of one day luring Rosalie out to California so I can add to my collection of photos called "Victims of Lucky Harms".

Nik Trades Me Glitter Cats for Russian Book and Jar Grandma

Weird Nik in face mask with weird thing peering over his shoulder.

Normally I force Nik to write his own interview questions AND ANSWER THEM.

Nik Trades Me Lost Cock and Undead Mosaic Clown Painting for French Phone and Cross WIth Weird Stuff On It

Nik on PBS

As usual, I made Nik answer some "interview" questions.

Since Nik trades with me at a feverish rate, now I force him to not only answer the questions, but also to make them up. Here's what he came up with this time:

Q: What are galleries you should know about:
http://www.sideshowstudios.net
http://www.hyaenagallery.com

Lost Cock

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Lost Cock by Nik
Lost Cock by Nik
Lost Cock by Nik

Nik's Story that came with Lost Cock:

When I was in summer camp I was pee shy. Our camp guy counselor whatever asked all of us before a long hike "If you have to go - go now!". I, being shy, tried to hold it, I'd just pee at midnight when everyone was a sleep, that was my plan.

Undead Mosaic Clown Painting

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Undead Mosaic Clown Painting
Undead Mosaic Clown Painting
Undead Mosaic Clown Painting
Undead Mosaic Clown Painting

Nik's story that came with the Undead Mosaic Clown Painting:

I used to be a clepto. I stole anything and everything. I even fit a giant stuffed monkey up my sleeve once. It got so bad I'd walk out of stores clicking and clanking with half the store. I never got caught and sometimes I was outright sloppy.

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