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Nik Trades Me Aku Aku Book and Mondo Jubjub for Proud Green Boobs and Full Metal Bra

Nik in a straight jacked at an art show in a donut shop

Nik's answers to my increasingly weird "interview" questions: 

Q: Do you know anyone who snorts when they laugh?
A: 3 out of every 5

Q: Have you ever farted while sneezing?
A: Sometimes I've squirted

Q: Do you make your own hummus or do you let the grocery store rape you at $4 or so for a tiny container of the least expensive food on the planet: beans?

Mondo Jubjub

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Mondo JubJub by Nicolas Caesar
Mondo JubJub by Nicolas Caesar
Mondo JubJub by Nicolas Caesar

This is Mondo JubJub! He sees and knows all!

Look at those hypno eyes! Many have tried to kill Mondo JubJub but have failed! His severed head floats on ready to grant wishes to grown men who like to pretend they're little boys.

Fear Mondo JubJub!

Respect Mondo JubJub!

Trade for Mondo JubJub! He commands it! 
Mondo JubJub! He can fit in a bowling bag! but not really cause he's 16x20

Faux Fur Painting

Original Owner: 
rebecca
Faux Fur Painting
Faux Fur Painting
Faux Fur Painting
Faux Fur Painting
Faux Fur Painting

Rebecca's Story that came with the Faux Fur Painting:

I used to paint on fake fur back in the 80s when I lived in NYC. I had an art installation at a bar called "Downtown Beirut"( on the Lower East Side). I covered all the walls with paintings of famous architecture on shag fake fur. I covered the ceiling ( with Putti like an Italian church on lime green plush) bar stools,and I did art for the bathrooms ( which got slashed with a knife). The owners loved it so much they wanted it up for two months.

Will Trades Me Bodice Ripper, Blow Up Scream and Figure Drawing Book for Undead Mosaic Clown Painting and Super Bright Kisses

Will and a Baby for some Reason

Will is one of my favorite trader-persons.

He writes the best stories and sends in really good stuff. He's fer sure in the top three.

And here are Will's very patient answers to my "interview" questions.

Enjoy.

How do you feel about sushi?
I love it more than I love most people. I would eat it any time any day as long as it was from a decent place. I'm pretty picky about the quality of my sushi.

If you were dared, would you eat a live bug?

Glitter Face Painting

Original Owner: 
timv
Glitter Face painting
Glitter Face painting
Glitter Face painting
Glitter Face painting
Glitter Face gets Remixed by Nicolas Caesar from scary-art.com

Will is being punished for sending me all kinds of "extras" with his bARTer Sauce trade item.

He always does this and always gets punished. He never learns. This time his punishment is that he has to "ghost write" six stories for Tim & Victoria who were kind enough to trade me six awesome items but are so busy unpacking that they don't have time to write six Sauce stories.

Will's "ghost written" story for Tim & Victoria: 

Proud Green Boobs Painting

Original Owner: 
timv
Proud Green Boobs Painting
Proud Green Boobs Painting
Proud Green Boobs Painting

Tim and Victoria have a lot on their plate what with the moving to somewhere else and all.

I'm impatient though and want to get these items into The Sauce so I hired a ghost writer. His name is Will and he is actually being punished because he likes to send me all kinds of extra stuffs when he makes Sauce trades with me. I'll get hats and books and magazines and weird signs. Then, I have to deal with all that stuff.

So in any case, here's Will's story for Tim & Victoria: 

Fire Breathing Nun Painting

Original Owner: 
timv
Fire Breathing Nun Painting
Fire Breathing Nun Painting

I made this trade with Victoria and Tim while they were in the midst of moving.

They're super busy. Or at least I think they are. I know I would be if I was moving. So in short, I don't blame them for not sending me a the six stories they owe me right away.

Big Painting

Original Owner: 
beryl
Painting of orchard in Wenatchee
Painting of orchard in Wenatchee

Beryl's Story About "Big Painting:

The story behind the painting is this: It's of an orchard in Wenatchee. and I don't know how to reduce what I've got. When my mom first moved there as a step mom to my two bros she had no experience with "country." She was out picking asparagus and a bull snake slunk out and wrapped itself around middle bros leg.

She freaked out.

Beryl Trades Me Big Painting for Appalachian Dolls

Pink, glittery landscape painting
Appalachian Dolls - After

Beryl took pity on the Appalachian dolls and did some surgery to separate them from each other

"I thought you might like to see I've resurrected the kids. New: hairdos, faces, buttons for hands, tie and buttons on shoes for girl, button and belt for boy. Interestingly enough, when I turned around the shirts I found a sticker that they had been made in China. It would be interesting to know, "green-wise," the size of their footprints. I'll give them to Community Services for the Blind."

I Found An Alternate Dimension In A Hole In My Sock Painting

Original Owner: 
IncogNEATo
Alternate Dimension In A Hole In My Sock Painting
Alternate Dimension In A Hole In My Sock Painting

Rachael's Story About "I Found An Alternate Dimension In A Hole In My Sock Painting"

My favorite argyle sock. Missing for ages, now its little nose pokes out from underneath the dryer like a suspicious weasel. I make a dive for it as if, after its first taste of freedom it might try to make a break for it, back to the unknown lint-filled worlds beneath the large appliance. I snatch it and promptly wrangle it onto my foot, "You shall not escape me again!" (I don't know why I'm so stern toward it, it IS my favorite sock...) Adequately socked and shod, I sally forth into my day.

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