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Eric Gives Me the Jazz Singer Painting that Wants to Eat his Girlfriend in Exchange for Double Vaginas

bARTer Sauce Trade
bARTer Sauce Trade


I feel much better now.

"Double Vaginas" is gone. It is no longer in my living room right across from the chair I sit in while we watch television.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive Ben for bringing that into my life. Normally I wouldn't mind. Normally. But this one hung around for quite awhile. Plus, it's huge. HUGE.

Sean trades me "Guy With Drip of Urine" Drawing for "Pin Up Girl with Meat Wings"

A Package Covered In Red Tape With Black Ninjas

This trade is in the works but it's happening through the US mail.

Which means it won't happen anytime soon.

I meant to mail it today, but there is a wind storm.

And it seemed like a terrible idea to walk to the post office.

But someday. Someday soon.

USDA Prime Cuts of Meat and a Pin Up Girl

Original Owner: 
Painting By Toast - Girl In Garter Belts WIth Wing Shaped Meat Behind Her

A hot pinup girl with garters against a red floral background.

On either side, outlines of cuts of meat. The artist is Toast. It was painted in 2002.

This item came from Jake who got it from his friend, Toast.

Here's Jake's story:

Jeromy gives me wood, wire, and stone faces for the Horrible Thing Jim Found in the Wall

Rosalie and Jeromy doin' a bARTer Sauce trade

Jeromy and I tried to do this trade a few weeks ago on some holiday weekend.

And he called to cancel because some friends showed up and he had to barbeque.  Just moments before he called, we got an invite to a barbeque as well.  So we said, "Forget this trading thing.  Let's go get us some barbeque."  And that was that.  For a little while.  Then Jeromy came by my place with Stone, Wood and Wire Faces and we did a little trade off.

Blue Clown Face Painting for Kitty Cat Painting

This Package Contains Wicked Good Aht

I got a painting of a kitty cat from MOBA (Museum of Bad Art) this week.

I mailed them the blue faced, clown thing when I finally worked up the energy to walk all the way to the post office.

It's difficult to take pictures documenting my trades with MOBA because they're located near Boston and I am definitely not located near Boston. So I just took a picture of their packing job. It says: This package contains Wicked Good Aht!

Horrible Thing Jim Found in the Wall of a House that was being Remodeled

Original Owner: 
Painting Found In A Wall
Man With Paiting He Found In A Wall

Apparently, as Jim tells it, some friends of his were re-modeling a house and when they tore out a wall they found this painting inside.

It was probably trapped in that wall for a reason and now they have let out some horrible spirit.

Well, Jim's dad has a basically, in the eyes of someone who has to move something...something heavy...Jim has a truck.

These friends called Jim and asked him to take this painting to the dump. He didn't. He traded it to me.

Double Vaginas

An Oddly Suggestive Painting

My friend Ben Martin used to do stand up comedy.

He doesn't do it anymore, but he does sometimes hang out in the bar downstairs from our apartment. He heard about the Crow Cannon and saw an opportunity to get rid of a painting he's been hauling around.

Apparently Ben got some hand me down furniture from some friends, a coffee table I think, and when they brought it over, they broke the news to him that if he wanted the coffee table, he would also be taking the painting.

It's huge. Huge.

Regan Trades Me Real Big Theatre Lights for a Painting Called "Big Girl"

Woman Holding Painting Called "Big Girl"

My adorable co-worker, Regan, propositioned me with a trade for the Big Girl painting.

Regan used to run a small theatre company that eventually went bust. She offered me some real life theatre lights that currently live in her basement. I jumped at the chance as I assume there are other fledgling theatre groups out there who might like some big kid lights of their own. And they could get them for a song.

Big Girl Painting

Painting of a Large Woman and a Small Man

Heather approached me saying that she acquired two paintings at an art auction because no one was bidding on them.

She felt bad, so she bid on them both. Then she had to figure out how to get rid of them. That's where I came in.

This was a package deal with a blue clown-faced guy painting. I call this one "Big Girl." If you are have weight or self esteem issues, this is the painting for you. She's bigger than everyone!

Clown Face Painting

Painting of a Blue Woman With Red Hair

Heather approached me saying that she acquired two paintings at a high school art auction because no one was bidding on them.

She felt bad, so she bid on them both. And won. Then she had to figure out how to get rid of them. That's where I came in.

This blue clown faced-guy came with a painting I call "Big Girl."

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