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Jesamyn Trades Me Potato Bunny Pamphlet for Nik Caesar's Self Portrait

bARTer Sauce Trade

Jessamyn - like everyone else I trade with - was forced at gunpoint to answer my "interview" questions:

Q: Have you ever made your own mustard?
A. No, although I love mustard with a fiery passion.

Q: Have you ever had impure thoughts about field roast?
A. I try to never think of Field Roast. Thanks a lot for reminding me.

Q: If you could punch anything in nature, what would it be?
A. It would be the sun; I would punch it right in its stupid face.

Nik Trades me Bad Kid Painting and Naked Men for Armless Anatomically Correct Bunny Rabbit and Empire Carpet Man Bobblehead Doll

Nik & Shameless self promotion. I like it.

Nik has done so many trades that we've sort of become one of those old married couple that you see sitting silently together in a restaurant.

We've basically got nothing left to say to each other -- or you.

For this trade, I made Nik write a song about bARTer Sauce: 

When I can't throw it away
When the wife says it has to go
When I'm convinced it's possessed
and it creeps out even (Edgar Allan) Poe
To the basement of Bartersauce and away
To be given new homes
To the unsuspecting

Armless Anatomically Correct Bunny Rabbit

Original Owner: 
SpankyHam
Dong Bunny
Dong Bunny
Dong Bunny

Will's Story that came with Armless Anatomically Correct Bunny Rabbit:

How Not To Drink Night Train

Nameless Guy trades me Eyes for Boobs in exchange for two sock puppets and Viagra Falls

Man With Sock Puppet

I met this guy at the coffee shop in Georgetown (I can say that because Georgetown is the one place in Seattle that only has one coffee shop) and we did the trade.

I love his painting. Excuse me, my eyes are up here! Oh...wait.

My favorite! We had plenty of time to do the trade while we were waiting in line for coffee because everyone and their mother was there with their dogs.

Argh. Dogs. I like dogs. But not in my coffee. And certainly not in line in front of me. Why do they get to be in front of me. That blows.

Kelly Lyles Print - Viagra Falls

Original Owner: 
Art Car
A print of Viagra Falls, by Kelly Lyles.

Kelly Lyles was kind enough to trade me a ton of her prints in exchange for the Microwave Love Tester Diorama.

All the prints are from her rodent series.

Here's what she says about them:
"These paintings came about in response to the constant questions about my art-car, Leopard Bernstein. "Are you a Leo?" "You must really identify with leopards." None of the above.

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