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Kids With Guns Mug

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce
Kids with guns mug: An Item in bARTer Sauce

Nik's Story that Came with the Kids With Guns Mug:

"I found this at Goodwill next to all the discarded wedding toast glasses, plastic A's cups, and granny shot glasses. I have no idea what the story is behind it but for 99cent - I rescued it. It's definitely someone's art project but the grim imagery raises a lot of questions. Even my most twisted friends don't want it. I'm sure it'll ruin people's feng shui. It'd make a great gag gift for creating uncomfortable silences."

Jesamyn Trades Me Potato Bunny Pamphlet for Nik Caesar's Self Portrait

bARTer Sauce Trade

Jessamyn - like everyone else I trade with - was forced at gunpoint to answer my "interview" questions:

Q: Have you ever made your own mustard?
A. No, although I love mustard with a fiery passion.

Q: Have you ever had impure thoughts about field roast?
A. I try to never think of Field Roast. Thanks a lot for reminding me.

Q: If you could punch anything in nature, what would it be?
A. It would be the sun; I would punch it right in its stupid face.

Nik Trades me Bad Kid Painting and Naked Men for Armless Anatomically Correct Bunny Rabbit and Empire Carpet Man Bobblehead Doll

Nik & Shameless self promotion. I like it.

Nik has done so many trades that we've sort of become one of those old married couple that you see sitting silently together in a restaurant.

We've basically got nothing left to say to each other -- or you.

For this trade, I made Nik write a song about bARTer Sauce: 

When I can't throw it away
When the wife says it has to go
When I'm convinced it's possessed
and it creeps out even (Edgar Allan) Poe
To the basement of Bartersauce and away
To be given new homes
To the unsuspecting

Nik Trades Me Stolen Unicorn Poster and Transvestite Robot for Weird Rooster Thing and I Can See Butt

bARTer Sauce Trade

Nik trades with me all the time.

About twice a month. And he has set up his own art trading project inspired by bARTer Sauce. He's a fan. And I'm a fan of him. All that said, I've had to come up with probably hundreds of "interview" questions for Nik to answer.

So this time we're going with Fun Facts! Fun. Facts about Nik: 

  • I compulsively cut my hair. Not in any professional way. In my mind it looks good but in the mirror not so much.

One One One Glitter Cat

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Glitter Cat Pillow Cover

Nik's Story that arrived with the Glitter Cat:

I have a corpse named Lucky that I make everyone pose with when they come over. He was traded to be by Kevin Klemm of Girls and Corpses magazine. He's named Lucky because he was the leprechaun corpse from the March issue. I dream of one day luring Rosalie out to California so I can add to my collection of photos called "Victims of Lucky Harms".

Lost Cock

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Lost Cock by Nik
Lost Cock by Nik
Lost Cock by Nik

Nik's Story that came with Lost Cock:

When I was in summer camp I was pee shy. Our camp guy counselor whatever asked all of us before a long hike "If you have to go - go now!". I, being shy, tried to hold it, I'd just pee at midnight when everyone was a sleep, that was my plan.

Tiny Head

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Tiny Head

Note from bARTer Sauce:

I must preface this entry by saying that I recently threatened Nik and told him he better submit some super good stories with his trade offers. I think I may have insulted him as he created two stories -- or one story in two parts -- the last titled, "Eat Me." Nik, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that your previous stories sucked and that you didn't put forth much effort in that area. I do feel truely awful about that.

Eh...hem....

Maybe we better just get on with the story:

Two Headed Boy

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Two Headed Boy by Nicolas Caesar

Nik traded me a long time ago for a drawing of Angry Naked Man.

Then, his friend Temple, traded me for some Time Machine Parts. They made the unprescendented move of trading those items with each other....so now Nik owns the Time Machine Parts and Temple owns Angry Naked Man. Genius. It just keeps going and going.

Creepy Clown Painting

Original Owner: 
scary-art1973
Paining of a Clown by Nicolas Caesar of Scary-Art.com

Nicolas' original offer:

16x20, acrylic on canvas, original art, ready to frame and give kids nightmares.

My response:
Awesome -- I'd love to trade. All I need from you is a story -- true or not -- maybe something about the clown painting maybe something from your childhood or failing that - a story about the moment your learned there was no Santa. Are you in Seattle? Rosalie

Nicolas' Reponse to my response:
I'm in Castro Valley, CA - city of old drunks

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