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Snoop Doggy Dog

Original Owner: 
Snoopy Figurine
Snoopy Figurine
Snoopy Figurine
Snoopy Figurine
Snoopy Figurine

Jaden's Story that came with Snoop Doggy Dog:

Though I have not been to Hawaii, I spent much of the first few years of my life in the Caribbean. At 1 my father kidnapped me and in a strange series of events, ended up in the Caribbean on the lam. We stayed wherever we could find shelter. In St. Martin we briefly stayed in a shack of corrugated metal with a few flimsy bunks of plywood to sleep on. One morning we were unceremoniously woken up by a bull horn.

Jaden Trades Me Snoop Doggy Dog for Hula Barbie

Jaden and I trading Snoop Doggy Dog for Hula Barbie

It's been a long while since I've told an actual story.

bARTer Sauce: Nik Trades me Mosaic Clown Painting and Lost Cock

Nik trades with bARTer Sauce a lot. A LOT. All the time. He trades with me so much that I am really far behind in updating the website with all his trade offers. He trades with me so much that I have officially BANNED him from the site until September 1, 2009. He is not allowed to make any trade offers, no matter what kind of awesome stuff I get between now and then.

Jessamyn Trades Me The Box of Regrets for Two-Faced Jane

Jessamyn and the doll
Jessamyn and the doll

Jessamyn has been subjected - as are most bARTer Sauce traders these days - to my "interview" questions.

I ask the questions no one cares about and force people to send me "answers."

Question: How come there aren't more regrets in your box? Have you lived a regret-free lifestyle? Or are you just selective about which you'll share on the internet?

Answer: I am not sure of the regret-capacity of the box, so I don't want to fill it up for future users.

Box of Regrets

Original Owner: 
The Box of Regrets
The Box of Regrets
The Box of Regrets

Jessamyn's Story that came with the Box of Regrets:

To use the regrets box, one simply writes down things one regrets and puts them in the box to HIDE ONE'S SHAME FROM THE WORLD.

I put two regrets in it.

This is one of them:

Jaden Trades me Crazy Neighbor Candleholder for Hopeful Centipede

Jaden and Rosalie trading some stuffs in bARTer Sauce
Jaden and Rosalie trading some stuffs in bARTer Sauce
Jaden and Rosalie trading some stuffs in bARTer Sauce
Jaden and Rosalie trading some stuffs in bARTer Sauce
Jaden, Donald (The Heart of the Room artist) and some friends

Jaden is a frequent visitor at our First Thursday Art Walks.

I've even heard rumor that she let my studio partner paint her up like a hummingbird and photograph her. I have yet to see the evidence.

Crazy Neighbor Candleholder

Original Owner: 
Crazy neighbor candle holder

Jaden's Story about the Candleholder from a Crazy Neighbor

I got this randomly from my crazy neighbor that used to live upstairs. One day while checking the mail I noticed a red trail, of what hopefully was juice or something leading to her door. Later my boyfriend and got the scoop. She had gotten wasted (again) and somehow her head ended up through her television. This of course was her own fault, though she claimed to have been pushed through the T.V.

Stacy Trades Me "Hand of Doom" and "Brickman" for Punk'd Up Nuns

Stacy and Rosalie making a Sauce Trade
Stacy's sculpture
Stacy's art

Stacy has been through a few bARTer Sauce trades so I'm sure she wasn't surprised when I demanded that she answer my "interview" questions on top of sending me stories for each of her items and traveling to deliver said items to me.

You've really got to work to trade with The Sauce. You've really got to want it.

Q: What is your middle name?
A: Christine.

Q: When you think about calamari, what do you think?
A: YUM! (and garlic butter)

Jessamyn Trades me her Brain Scan and Fancy Mask (and accoutrements) for Drag Queen Clown and Kill You in Your Sleep Teddy Bear Lamp

Jessamyn and some horns.
Rosalie and Jessamyn doing a bARTer Sauce trade

As per usual, I have subjected Jessamyn to my own brand of "interview" questions.

This tradition began long ago when I used to pressure myself to come up with an engaging and funny story of my own to go along with each trade. Well, after about a million or so trades, it seems I have run out of stories, so now, I make my Sauce traders work extra hard by telling me a story AND answering my lame "interview questions." Personally, I think this solution is genius. Plus, I'm lazy.

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