Skip to main content

self portrait

warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/bartersa/public_html/modules/taxonomy/ on line 33.

Jesamyn Trades Me Potato Bunny Pamphlet for Nik Caesar's Self Portrait

bARTer Sauce Trade

Jessamyn - like everyone else I trade with - was forced at gunpoint to answer my "interview" questions:

Q: Have you ever made your own mustard?
A. No, although I love mustard with a fiery passion.

Q: Have you ever had impure thoughts about field roast?
A. I try to never think of Field Roast. Thanks a lot for reminding me.

Q: If you could punch anything in nature, what would it be?
A. It would be the sun; I would punch it right in its stupid face.

Nik Trades me Jar Man and Self Portrait for Glitter Face and Blow Up Scream

Mosquito and Spider on bARTer Sauce
Mosquito and Spider on bARTer Sauce
Mosquito and Spider on bARTer Sauce

Instead of sending Nik "interview" questions, I'm posting the rejection letter he received from Michael Frank, Curator-in-Chief of Museum of Bad Art.


Nicolas Caesar Self Portrait

Original Owner: 
Nicolas Caesar, a self portrait

Nik's story that came with his self-portrait:

I do a lot of trades. A LOT of trades! Rosalie can tell you I do more trades than a crackhead does crack. (NOTE from The Sauce: I once had to ban Nik from the bARTer Sauce website for the summer so I could do something other than sit behind the computer and update his trades.) Though that's assuming Rosalie has met and befriended crackheads. I don't think she does. People who buy organic fruit don't often hang with them. I think it's because you can't smoke fruit. Most fruit.

Josiah Trades Me Butt Sketch for Mark's Self Portrait

Josiah and Rosalie doin' a bARTer Sauce trade
Josiah and Rosalie doin' a bARTer Sauce trade

It's February First Thursday.

I'm wearing a skirt for some odd reason.

Two women show up unexpectedly and give me a box of trading cards that they made featuring bARTer Sauce items and stories. These two kind women have used bARTer Sauce for a class project and distributed some trading cards around the city advertising bARTer Sauce at First Thursday. I had no idea.

Then, imagine a young man walking in. HOLDING ONE OF THE TRADING CARDS....

Self Portrait of Mark

Original Owner: 
Self Portrait (Mark)

Can you see him in there?

It took me a minute, but then once Doug explained it to me, I saw it. Men are smart. I made Mark trade this to me through sheer guilt alone. Perfect.

He's an artist. One of the few actual artists who have decided to support The Sauce at this point. And while I totaly appreciated his trade offer of a Crow Cannon, I made him throw in an actual piece of art too.

Because I am evil. And selfish. And greedy. End of story.

Mark gives me his Crow Cannon and a Self Portrait in exchange for the Monkey Shelf and the Ed Sullivan Collage

bARTer Sauce Trade
bARTer Sauce Trade

My most recent trade was with Mark. He's nice. So is his wife, Sandy. He wanted the Monkey shelf and the Ed Sullivan collage.

Mark traded me something called a Crow Cannon and a self portrait that he painted.

I was able to verify with his wife that he really did think it was a good idea to smash two pieces of wood together at 6am to scare away the crows. I think she is right that the crow cannon was more annoying than the crows.

Syndicate content