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still life

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Nik Trades me Hopeful Caterpillar with a Bunch of Stars and Crap for Still Life

Close up of Nik
Nik, being weird
Nik, weirder

I am an extremely lazy person and actually asked Nik to write his own hilarious interview questions and then answer them.

Must people would have told me to go jump in the lake. But Nik didn't. He wrote the questions. Why? Because he is a stand up guy, that's why. With lots of free time, I imagine.


Q. What are three wishes:
1. To spank bigfoot
2. to drain Loch Ness once and for all
3. Ask aliens if they download porn

Still Life With Ron

Original Owner: 
I challenge you to determine the nature of the object on the far right.
Still Life With Ron (After Nik's Remix)

Ron's story about the still life:

Here is the story on the painting, it is both hilarious and sad. It was given to me by a guy named XXXXXXX, who is a bicycle rickshaw guy in Pioneer Square. He is currently homeless, I think. I say "I think" because I'm not sure, but "I think" he was living in one of the homeless camps that the City closed down. I give him money sometimes but he prefers to "sell" me something (last night I gave him $10 for a used glass marijuana pipe, which I am going to soak clean. Or maybe throw away).

He was hit by a Metro bus last year and for about 6 months was claiming that he was getting a settlement of $35,000, and would be paying everybody back. He'd come in and say "I just got back from the lawyer and signed the papers." But he stopped saying that lately.

I once bought a bike from him for $10. He has tons of bikes. . .in fact, he is something of a "bicycle savant" and can fix anything to do with a bicycle. We call him "D.O.T." (as in Department of Transportation).

He may even be an artist, he has some rolled up canvasses that look like paintings. He also always has picture frames that he tries to sell me. Actually, I suspect he gets them out of art gallery dumpsters in the neighborhood, or maybe just dumpsters.

He sometimes just gives me stuff. He gave me a Seattle Mariner "staff" golf shirt last year. He also gave me this painting. It is in a cheap black wooden frame with no matte, but the back was sealed with butcher paper like someone took a lot of care in framing it.

Ron Trades Me "Still Life" for "Will Ferrell"

It's Ron Reid, bARTer Sauce trader

If there is one cohesive theme in bARTer Sauce, it is most likely - Me Forgetting the Camera.

How is it possible to forget a camera when one is going to do a trade with someone for the SOLE PURPOSE OF DOCUMENTING IT ONLINE?

Well, it is very possible. I do it all the time.

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