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Tim Vernor

Full Metal Bra

Original Owner: 
timv
Full Metal Bra
Full Metal Bra

Tim's Story about "Full Metal Bra"

This piece was purchased at a garage sale and was created for a breast cancer fundraiser. Made out of car parts, this one of a kind heavy duty brassie was purchased by someone who had had far too much to drink at the auction and paid waaay too much for it. She was so embarassed about how much she paid for it that she would not even reveal it to us as we purchased it from her for $10.00 at a garage sale.

I Can See Butt

Original Owner: 
timv
I Can See Butt
I Can See Butt
I Can See Butt
I Can See Butt
I Can See Butt

I'm tired of talking about how busy Tim & Victoria are and how bad a man Will is.

Here's the short version. Tim & Victoria traded me six things for bARTer Sauce but they are moving and don't have time to write six stories. Will is a trouble-maker who is being punished by having to "ghost write" six stories for Tim & Victoria.

There. That was sort of short.

This is a two-part story.
Read Part I here.

Boobs Over My Hammy

Original Owner: 
timv
Boobs Over My Hammy
Boobs Over My Hammy

Will has been a bad, bad man.

He causes much trouble for The Sauce with all of his support and his many, many trade offers. Plus, he always thinks it is funny to add a bunch of "extras" to his trade packages. For this, he must be punished. So, this time his punishment is that he has to "ghost write" six stories for Tim & Victoria -- who are moving and don't have time to write six stories for The Sauce right now.

Glitter Face Painting

Original Owner: 
timv
Glitter Face painting
Glitter Face painting
Glitter Face painting
Glitter Face painting
Glitter Face gets Remixed by Nicolas Caesar from scary-art.com

Will is being punished for sending me all kinds of "extras" with his bARTer Sauce trade item.

He always does this and always gets punished. He never learns. This time his punishment is that he has to "ghost write" six stories for Tim & Victoria who were kind enough to trade me six awesome items but are so busy unpacking that they don't have time to write six Sauce stories.

Will's "ghost written" story for Tim & Victoria: 

Proud Green Boobs Painting

Original Owner: 
timv
Proud Green Boobs Painting
Proud Green Boobs Painting
Proud Green Boobs Painting

Tim and Victoria have a lot on their plate what with the moving to somewhere else and all.

I'm impatient though and want to get these items into The Sauce so I hired a ghost writer. His name is Will and he is actually being punished because he likes to send me all kinds of extra stuffs when he makes Sauce trades with me. I'll get hats and books and magazines and weird signs. Then, I have to deal with all that stuff.

So in any case, here's Will's story for Tim & Victoria: 

Victoria & Tim Trade Me Six Things for Snoopy

Victoria and Rosalie making cute faces
Snoopy between metal breastseses
Victoria helping Rosalie on with giant metal bra
Snoopy between metal breastseses
Victoria licking Snoopy.
Victoria. Alone. Plus blurry.

Victoria and Time were moving. Big time. Getting rid of lots of art and moving away. This is one of those Sauce scenarios where it just may be that someone is much more interested in having The Sauce come over and haul away the stuff that they don't want as opposed to really loving The Sauce. That's okay. Sometimes that's the only way good stuff ever gets into The Sauce. When people are freaking pressed for time.

Jen Trades Me Hairy Lady for PigFace

Jen and Rosalie doin' a bARTer Sauce trade
Jen and Rosalie doin' a bARTer Sauce trade
Jen and Rosalie doin' a bARTer Sauce trade

Okay, first, I must say that I will never, ever, ever, in a million years be able to pronounce Jen's last name.

Never. It just won't happen. You could write it down phonetically and the closest I would get is Snufalupagus. And that's totally not right because her last name starts with 'M'. And it's a long one. She started saying it to me on Wednesday when we did our trade and I think she's just finishing up saying it now.

Tim Trades me Giant Pig Face for Drinky Clown Painting

Pigface! Pigface!

Tim came to the April First Thursday art walk, looked at Nicolas' Drinky Clown Painting, turned around, ran home and came back with a giant painting of Pigface.

It's big.

Really big.

It's the biggest thing I've ever received. It's bigger than the credit card costume. It's bigger than Mrs. Woo. It's the biggest. And it's all Pigface. Every inch.

Pig Face

Original Owner: 
timv
Pig Face

Tim's Story that came with PigFace:

Thanks for the trade. I love scary drunk clowns. I found the pig in the trash area of my building about a week after I moved in (The Prudential Building in Pioneer Square). I didn't really know anyone in the building then and most likely it was put there by someone moving out so I never figured out where it came from. The building was mostly artists when I moved in 5 years ago but now there are only a couple. I didn't unroll it till I got it upstairs. I loved it and hung it high on my wall (I have a 22 foot ceiling in my loft) so it overlooked the entire space. My girlfriend hated it but when I told her I traded it she said she had gotten use to it.

Some additional annoying questions I made Tim answer:

Q. What was your first kiss like? How old were you? How'd you make your move?
A. I really don't remember

Q. Did you find the pig face and what made you say....I want that in my house?
A. I wanted it because it was unique and someone put a lot of time, effort and paint into it. They must have had a great vision but when it didn't come out the way they wanted they threw it into the trash.

Q. Did you name the pig face?
A. No

Q. If you didn't name the pig face, but if someone was making you name it now, what would you name it?
A. It's kind of an evil looking pig so something like Scarebelch The Rancid (compliments of Seventh Sanctum Evil Name Generator) http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=evilnamer

Q. Have you ever gone ice skating?
A. Not that I remember.

Q. What was the last thing you sent through the mail that wasn't a bill or something boring?
A. I send about 100 packages through the mail every day. I sell mostly books, toys & games, vintage kitchen and vintage clothing
http://www.happyhourcomics.com
http://www.happyhourbooks.com/
http://www.pigpenclothing.ecrater.com/

The last thing I sent that wasn't a purchase was a digital camera someone left up at our cabin - I mailed it back to them.

Q. Do you remember kindergarten at all?
A. The only thing I remember about kindergarten is walking to school . I went to BF day in Fremont and had to walk over the scary concrete bridge that goes over Aurora Ave.

Q. How long have you lived in Seattle?
A. Most of my life

Q. Where else have you lived and why did you leave there?
A. My parents bought a motel in Ocean Shores on the Washington Coast and we lived there for 2 years during 7th and 8th grade then came back to Seattle.

(note from Rosalie - hey - my parents owned a Motel too. The Twin Birch in Brainerd, MN. See, now we never would have learned how much we have in common if I didn't get to make you answer all my annoying questions!)

Abandoned Artist's Sketch Book

Original Owner: 
timv
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book
Abandoned Artist Sketch Book

Tim traded me this at the First Thursday Art Walk on 12/6.

Here is his story:

"The sketch book was made by a guy named DB -- one of my former neighbors in the Prudential Building here in Pioneer Square. When he moved out he threw out quite a bit of stuff including 3 sketch books. I took one of them apart and hung them as a border along my ceiling. I took another one apart and hung them on a wall and gave them away during artwalk. Thanks so much for trading the 3rd one for the ceramic chip bowl."

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