Will Sammons

Will's story that came with the Bodice Ripper: 

Our honeymoon was a 7 day Caribbean cruise. We stopped in Mexico to visit some ancient ruins.

Will's story submitted with Blow Up Scream:

I have this re-occurring dream. A series of re-occurring dreams actually.  I'm going to an old house. From the outside and from far away it looks like a castle. I'm going there and there are others with me, but I can't see them, I can only feel that they are there with me. The path starts out in an evergreen forest. Fir trees and pines overhead and the ground is covered by a soft moss. I can see the castle, high on a hill and far away. 

I'm tired of talking about how busy Tim & Victoria are and how bad a man Will is.

Here's the short version. Tim & Victoria traded me six things for bARTer Sauce but they are moving and don't have time to write six stories. Will is a trouble-maker who is being punished by having to "ghost write" six stories for Tim & Victoria.

There. That was sort of short.

This is a two-part story.
Read Part I here.

Will has been a bad, bad man.

He causes much trouble for The Sauce with all of his support and his many, many trade offers. Plus, he always thinks it is funny to add a bunch of "extras" to his trade packages. For this, he must be punished. So, this time his punishment is that he has to "ghost write" six stories for Tim & Victoria -- who are moving and don't have time to write six stories for The Sauce right now.

Will is being punished for sending me all kinds of "extras" with his bARTer Sauce trade item.

He always does this and always gets punished. He never learns. This time his punishment is that he has to "ghost write" six stories for Tim & Victoria who were kind enough to trade me six awesome items but are so busy unpacking that they don't have time to write six Sauce stories.

Will's "ghost written" story for Tim & Victoria: 

Tim and Victoria have a lot on their plate what with the moving to somewhere else and all.

I'm impatient though and want to get these items into The Sauce so I hired a ghost writer. His name is Will and he is actually being punished because he likes to send me all kinds of extra stuffs when he makes Sauce trades with me. I'll get hats and books and magazines and weird signs. Then, I have to deal with all that stuff.

So in any case, here's Will's story for Tim & Victoria: 

I made this trade with Victoria and Tim while they were in the midst of moving.

They're super busy. Or at least I think they are. I know I would be if I was moving. So in short, I don't blame them for not sending me a the six stories they owe me right away.

Will's Story that came with Armless Anatomically Correct Bunny Rabbit:

How Not To Drink Night Train