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Asian Doll Sculpture

Life Sized Asian Doll With Her Hands Out
Life Sized Asian Doll With A Can Of Pabst Blue Ribbon In Her Hand

So Lauri lost the Laffhole contest, but somehow I manage to convince most of the folks who compete at Laffhole to trade with me anyway.

Lauri was no exception.

Her original offer for the Turntables (that's what I gave away at Laffhole) was the Asian doll sculpture, a haunted tiki punchbowl set and shoes left in her car by the crack whore who stole it.

When she didn't win the turntable, the trade offer was reduced to just the large, heavy item that she didn't want to bring home.

She got the Asian sculpture from her boss whose wife is "some kind of" decorator (I'm assuming - the bad kind - the kind with little to no talent). I think Lauri said that this has been sitting in their garage for quite some time, so perhaps it was considered "good" decorating some time ago. Long ago. Maybe? It's possible. I don't know what we're arguing about. Let's just agree to disagree. Okay fine, I admit it. It's horrible no matter what the time.

Another thing you should take note of is that - not that I want to stereotype - but this is the bustiest 5' tall Asian that I've ever seen. Huge. Seriously huge. People talk about how Barbie would fall over if she were made into a real woman - well she's got nothin' on this.

And last, she has Lee Press On Nails.

She has Lee Press On Nails.

Did you hear me?

I love her.

She will be well taken care of (once we get her out of the trunk) until I trade her away for something fantastic.