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Buddha Letter Writing Zen Package

Original Owner: 
An Item In bARTer Sauce - Painting from Zen Buddha Pen Pal Package
Buddha & bARTer Sauce
Pomegranite and postcards

Brit's story that came with the Buddha Letter Writing Zen Package:

To begin with I’m slightly pissed off at Colin (creator of the Hedgehog Wearing a Mask). He was supposed to be my PenPal… but out of the blue a few months ago he just up and stopped writing back to me. LAME!!

I guess I understand. I can be empathetic if I must. It takes a lot of time and energy to sit down and write an actual letter. It also takes stamps. If you don’t like stamps I can see how having a penpal might be a little trying on the soul after a while. I didn’t think Colin was that guy though, you know? I thought Colin could handle stamps.

I also thought Colin could appreciate the bizzarro supplications and outbursts that come with trying to persuade someone (that you are only half convinced really exists anymore) that you are worthy of their ongoing attention & benevolence. (Think Joan of Arc and I think you might catch my drift.) I realize that that is a lot of pressure to put on a mere mortal and I guess I can see how being addressed as “Heavenly Father” or “O Holy One” or “Most Wise, All Powerful and Universal Fecundity” can make someone rather unresponsive after a while. Sorry about that Colin.

Anyway, because I haven’t been spending quite so much time writing Colin letters of late, I’ve had more time on my hands for adventuring. And, a couple weeks ago, the adventure took me to the Sakya Buddhist Monestary in Greenwood.

I got there at dusk… on one of the first real fall Seattle eves… when the dark and rain and silence—forgotten since last year and now suddenly jolted awake by all the coffee you’ve just consumed to clear the weather-induced fog—begin to inspire a certain amount of anxiety about having to live through the moldy grey gloom of the next six months.

Under these circumstances, you can only imagine the great wave of relief that washed over me when the prayer wheels suddenly spun of their own accord and the door swung open to reveal—glowing gold and beautiful—the giant fat Buddhaman surrounded by the bright splendor of his sacred abode! How lovely! O my! I marched right in, plopped down on a little round cushion, and threw myself into the gibberish and glottal gyrations required to mimic the chanting of the monks. And… as the Buddha smiled down on me… I didn’t feel quite so sad about the fact that Colin didn’t want to be my penpal anymore.

Which, I guess, leads me to my trade offer.

I would like to title this trade the “The Buddha-Blessed Artistic PenPal Package”. This package includes:

  1. A picture of a Buddha to look at while you write letters to Colin. This is to help potential Colin penpals avoid the mistakes I made. It is a reminder to “render unto Colin what is Colin’s” while writing him a letter and not to pretend he is even remotely similar in stature and grace to the man (or woman… or… whatever) upstairs.
  2. A book of “Make Your Own” Post Cards. Since I’m not Colin’s penpal anymore I don’t really need these. Granted, I think a number of these have already been addressed to Colin in New York and the backs of a few may already include personal notes to Colin from me. But I don’t think it would really take much to white everything out and begin anew.
  3. A “Forest” picture. I’m only including this because I was under the impression that Buddhas sometimes like to sit under trees to contemplate the mysteries of existence. I just want the Buddha to be happy wherever he ends up.
  4. A pomegranate. I’m including this because pomegranates are tempting… and I want Rosalie to be tempted to take my trade offer. However, I’m not sure this will actually make it into the final trade because it’s not really art related and I might eat the pomegranate before she accepts this FABULOUS trade offer that could really only happen in a virtual land of magic and mystery like bARTersauce.

Oh yea… because I’m sure people are probably concerned about this… if Rosalie accepts this trade offer I’m not going to do anything funny with the Hedgehog… even though I’m still kinda pissed at Colin. I’m not going to decapitate it and mail back to him or anything like that. At least… I’ll try hard not to do. I can’t really promise anything. As I said… I’m still kinda pissed.