Nicolas' story submitted with "Drinkey Clown" (bARTer Sauce's title...not Nicolas'....if that is his real name):
When I lived in Oakland California I found a Billy Dee Williams Colt 45 cardboard standee outside my neighborhood liquor store in the trash. "Score!" I thought and I raced to gaffle this treasure of treasures. Halfway home I realized by the smell that the homeless had been using it for a toilet and so I left it in an open convertible. I had hoped the owner - upon returning to his car - thought Billy Dee spontaneously visited him and wanted to be his Return of the Jedi co-pilot... but he/she probably thought it was an ex trying to get back at them.