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Evil Looking Doll Lamp

Original Owner: 
Evil Looking Doll Lamp
Evil Looking Doll Lamp
Evil Looking Doll Lamp

Marlow offered me this doll-shaped lamp at the last First Thursday Art Walk.

I immediately accepted based soley on the level of creepiness that I felt when I looked directly into the doll's eyes.

I have to keep it at the studio -- far away from my bedroom -- because I am frightened that it will come to life and beat me to death with the little parasol lampshade.

I wish I could share with you the story that Marlow provided with her item -- but unfortunately, even though she verbally promised in front of several witnesses to send me her story though email -- she has not done it. Don't worry, she will be punished. This has only happened once before and I actually added a "Grievances" section to my newsletter where I drew a mustache on the offender's picture and let everyone know my displeasure publically. I am afraid this is also what will happen to Marlow. Poor Marlow. I don't think you're going to look good with a mustache. Not good at all.

Be sure to check out Marlow's blogs: and -- and be sure to leave comments about how disappointed you are that she let bARTer Sauce down. Maybe that will create the inspiration she needs to tell me a damn story.

Or - perhaps you have a story ABOUT Marlow that you would like to share with bARTer Sauce. Get in touch.

The end.

Sauce Update 10/08/08:

Marlow says she emailed me a story...and I decide to give her the benefit of the doubt and remove the mustaches from the picture of her in my e-newsletter.

Marlow's story:

"Oh no! I sent you a story about Tim Siciliano. You didn't get? I got that hideous lamp from him.

About 20 years ago, there was this scary-looking homeless bag lady named Edith who was a fixture in downtown Seattle. She had along, matted hair and always pushed a shopping cart.

So, fast forward to me in New York City. I'm walking around the city and what do I see but graffiti, stylized drawings of Edith the bag lady on the walls and streets of NYC.

How on earth did drawings of a Seattle bag lady get to New York?

Later on, I found out that Tim Siciliano and his boyfriend Peyton had moved from Seattle to NY, and brought their pictures and drawings of Edith with them, decorating alley walls and walk-ways with their depictions of her sad and lonely visage.

Peyton has since died and Tim moved back to Seattle and founded

Somehow, I ended up with Tim's horrible lamp, which I then traded to you for thousands of cigarette coupons."