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Jar Man

Original Owner: 
Jar Man, an Item on bARTer Sauce

Nik's story that came with Jar Man

I recently hiked along the Hayward Shorline. It's great for bird watching enthusiasts. I saw at least 4 kinds of birds: Ducks, geese, a little bird (I don't know what it's named so I'm just say Robin after the hated sidekick of Batman.) and a hawk. The crazy thing about this place is outside of the diverse wildlife (all 4 of them), the animals are incredibly tame. Like Hitchcock's The Birds-unsettling-tame.

I literally walked up and squatted over a groundsquirrel (I wasn't pooping, I was taking it's picture). Oh, the ground squirrel I guess makes 5 animals. Anyways I thought I'd try my luck with the hawk watching me squat (I hate it when they watch me!). So I walked up to the hawk. I walked closer. Then I was even closer than I was before. At this time I'm sure he could smell my hot dog breath. Instantly I thought "Wow! If this was the Neverending Story - he'd or she would grow giant and I could ride it and chase down bullies. I hate bullies. I like hawks.

I think the hawks should breed with the groundsquirrels and make flying squirrels. That would be cool. If only there was such a thing. If only I could play some Barry White. This crazy world is full of big "Ifs", isn't it?