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Microwave

Original Owner: 
Rosalie Hates K...
Old Microwave

Okay, it's a microwave.

And IT HAS WRITING ON THE FRONT THAT SAYS, "PROBE IN USE." That is 100% true. It came that way. I did nothing to it.

Okay now, hush Fans O' the Sauce,

We're going to hear three stories from Rhiannon.

Ready?

Okay.
 

THE FIRST MICROWAVE EVER MADE

By Rhiannon

THE FIRST MICROWAVE EVER MADE was all alone. God had made it first, and nothing else. This is before he made the crawling things and creators of the sea and sky. THE FIRST MICROWAVE EVER MADE had a time to muse and reflect . Lots of time. And in this musing and reflecting became wise. Wise in the ways heating and reheating. Wise in the ways of thawing and boiling. Through this insight THE FIRST MICROWAVE EVER MADE grew the settings to know the difference.

THE FIRST MICROWAVE EVER MADE TAKES OUT A CLASSIFED AD

By Rhiannon

Microwave ISO new owner. Sophisticated kitchen appliance seeks no strings attached bouts with a hunger partner. Be ready to push my buttons and I can promise to serve it up hot. I come with tons of experience. Be warned my probes are in use!

THE FIRST MICROWAVE EVER MADE

By Rhiannon

I really know very little about this microwave. My husband and I bought our first house and it came with a 1980s model of microwave. I assume it works. Ive never used it. The old owners crossed over and their children left some items they didnt want in the house, among them, THE FIRST MICROWAVE EVER MADE. I have a newer microwave, so I have no use for this one. I do know that old owners were nice old people and most likely didnt use this microwave for

  • Hamsters
  • Hiding their stash
  • Defecation
  • A murder weapon
  • Terrorism

    So feel free to enjoy the tasty treats you nuke in its open belly with a clean conscience.