Nik's story that came with his self-portrait:
I do a lot of trades. A LOT of trades! Rosalie can tell you I do more trades than a crackhead does crack. (NOTE from The Sauce: I once had to ban Nik from the bARTer Sauce website for the summer so I could do something other than sit behind the computer and update his trades.) Though that's assuming Rosalie has met and befriended crackheads. I don't think she does. People who buy organic fruit don't often hang with them. I think it's because you can't smoke fruit. Most fruit.
I've gotten the Japanese exclussive War of the Gargantuas model professionally painted, an alligator head from Florida, the entire A-Team action figure set and even a giant metal bra and a rabbit with a dingle. My house is a collage of weird objects and things. I have a FeeGee Mermaid, Shrunken head and the Inhumanoids Tendril. I had a Hello Kitty SARS mask, a 1940's knock down circus punk, and Angel Above, Devil Below (a horrible porn about a Satan possessed vagina). Recently I started scavenging my trades and built this collage with artifacts from the envelopes. There's even a Bartersause flyer in there.
I've long wanted to do a self portrait and I think this comes the closest. Really it is me, honestly me. My friend Temple told me I have a Spider Totem, always needing to weave and connect things. It's true. So not only is this a great artifact to put on eBay after I die but it's a fun read. Enjoy!