Coy's story that came with Pickled Eyeball Candle:
While I don't feel guilty about what I did, the eyeballs keep staring. Maybe I shouldn't keep them in the bedroom, but as it turns out, eyes in a jar raise plenty of questions from guests, especially if they see them just sitting on the mantle.
Of the questions asked, only one has come uncomfortably close to the truth: Where's Tanya? "Away at camp" is always the answer. Of course, Tanya's been "away at camp" for nearly eight months now, so it's now either get rid of the eyeballs, or start building "Tanya 2.0"
I'm lazy, and eBay doesn't let you buy human livers like they once did (Terms of Service changed in 1998), so the eyes have to go. Tanya will be 'away at camp' for a while longer.