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Ariane Trades Me Hugs for Jesus Statue for Butt Drawing

Traded With: 
Ariane on bARTer Sauce
Ariane on bARTer Sauce

Ariane was kind enough to endure some of my "interview" questions since we did this trade through the mail.

Please enjoy getting to know her a little better and also -- live in wonder as to why she will not tell me what kind of sandwiches are her favorite. It makes no sense.

Q. How did you meet your girlfriend?
A. (Fiancé now! Yes, that’s right, we’re getting hitched!) First she stalked me for a few years, had her best friend ask me out, had her brother ask me out, then she came into my place of work to ask me out herself, but she chickened out and just ended up loitering in the art center gift shop. Then she came back the next day, stood in front of my desk and asked me out. I caved.

Q. What kind of sandwiches are your favorite kind of sandwiches?
A. [No answer. She skipped this one. What do you think that means? Tell us what kind of damn sandwiches you like! Jeez!]

Q. How special are you?
A. Right up there with unicorn milk served in a unicorn horn.

Q. How much, on a scale of 1-10, do you believe that there are space monkeys who eat space bananas?
A. 7.1564

Q. Have you ever shoplifted anything?
A. I took a sign from a Walmart restroom explaining that “Shoplifting is stealing” I have it. I should trade it on bARTersauce!

Q. Did you ever used to watch What's Happenin' -- what about 'What's Happenin' Now?'
A. I have no tv. You shouldn’t watch it either, it’s just a distraction so space monkeys can steal your soul or your brain or your mojo or something that tastes like space bananas. Right again! Your soul tastes just like space bananas! mmmmmmmm