Janie was oddly quiet while I held her down and forced her to answer my "interview" questions. It might have been the duct tape that I put over her mouth during the parts where she wasn't supposed to talk. So I guess "oddly quiet" isn't the right description. Exactly right quiet. That's what it was:
Q: How long do you think it would take to teach a monkey to sew?
A: Obviously it depends on the monkey. Spider monkeys can learn easily, as they already know how to weave. (Their monkey spider webs)
Q: How long did it take you to learn to sew?
A: About 10 minutes. Sew easy!
Q: Are there any monsters at your house?
A: Yes. My dish washer is a monster, not very cleverly disquised.
Q: Where do they hide when you are not at home?
A: Why would they hide when I'm not home?
NOTE FROM THE SAUCE: Good point. Good point.
Q: Do you believe in mental telepathy?
A: Yes, but dental telepathy is total bullshit.
Q: What am I thinking right now?
A: I have no good socks.
Q: How do you make money?
A: Start with some juicy pulp, Add ink, hammer it very thin & cut it into spend-size morsels.
Q: Do you have any extra money?
A: All my money is extra money
Q: How much bacon do you eat in a given year?
A: All of it.
