Jessamyn Trades Me The Box of Regrets for Two-Faced Jane

Jessamyn has been subjected - as are most bARTer Sauce traders these days - to my "interview" questions.

I ask the questions no one cares about and force people to send me "answers."

Question: How come there aren't more regrets in your box? Have you lived a regret-free lifestyle? Or are you just selective about which you'll share on the internet?

Answer: I am not sure of the regret-capacity of the box, so I don't want to fill it up for future users.

Question: Mice or dogs - which are your LEAST favorite?

Answer: Mice: they bite me ALL THE TIME.

Question: Do you think dogs can understand you when you talk?

Answer: They can at least understand me when I tell them to stop biting me, unlike mice.

Question: How much credit card debt do you have?

Answer: None: no one will give me a credit card no matter how nice I ask.

Question: Are you as sick of the phrase "In this economy" as I am?

Answer: If you are pretty sick of it, then yes.

Question: Has the "economy" affected you at all?

Answer: Not so much.

Question: If you had to eat nails or asparagus, which would you choose?

Answer: Are the nails metal or finger?

Question: What if the nails were deep fried?

Answer: If they were fingernails and they were mine and they were breaded, I would consider it.

Question: Do you know any special secrets for staying young and beautiful?

Answer: BATHING IN THE BLOOD OF VIRGINS.

Note from bARTer Sauce:...For the record, I meant special secrets that weren't totally obvious.

Finish this story:

"What the hell is that?" asked Cindy. "What the hell is that?"

"shhhhhhh...I think it heard you."

.....Suddenly, around the corner lumbered A GIANT MOUSE-DOG OF DOOM!

"OOOH NOOOOOO!" wailed Cindy, "My two least favorite things!!!!"

The end.