Nik answered these "interview" questions even though I've asked him about 100 rounds of questions through all of our trades and these are very much the bottom of the barrel.
Q. How tall are you?
Q. Why/how did you start scary-art.com?
A. My old domain name was hijacked by hookerbots and I did a poll. Scary-Art won. It, not being something like 'Nikthecoolguy'.com, I wanted to do something more with it but kept getting writers block. I was going to have movie reviews, drink recipes, restaurant guide etc but it just ended up being "Hey look at me and all these great artists!" which worked out for the better.
Q. If you could have any two toppings on a pizza and could not choose anything actually edible, what would they be?
A. Mercury and Chaos
Q. What's your favorite word to play in a Scrabble game?
Q. How come you like to trade with bARTer Sauce so much?
A. It's safe, fun, and when I painted over my work too many times it finally gets out of my space and sent far far away.
Q. When does your PBS art auction happen? And if it already happened, how much did your painting sell for? And if your painting already sold, do you think they paid enough for it?
A. September 26-28th. They priced it at $250! I nearly crapped myself when I found out I was in. PBS and me? I don't think we'd ever be toghether unless it was a very special episode of Scooby Doo!
Q. Have you ever seen a bed bug?
A. Yes, interesting fact I learned - the male stabs his mate to fertilize her. You can tell how many litters she's had by the number of scars. Insects are uber-kinky.
Q. Do you like cats?
A. I like cats but I hate it when they wave Satan's Onion Ring at you.
Q. Describe any experience you have had with Tofurky.
A. I heard it jiggles. I'd imagine it'd be like eating The Blob! "Take that Blob! you're in my belly! and I punish toilets with some of the foods I eat!"
Q. Do you have any cats?
A. Just fake ones
Q. Do you have any roommates?
A. Just fake ones
Q. If you have roommates, who buys the toilet paper -- you or them?
A. I do, the fake ones contribute nothing!
Q. Do you sometimes wish you were a naked lady carrying an urn on her shoulder?
A. No, I'm a capricorn, I imagine how I can swim with hooves
Q. Have you ever played Wii Fit? And if so, how awesome is it?
A. I don't have a Wii but I heard never Wii on an electric fence
Q. Do you shop at Walmart?
A. I'm an artist, of course I do hahaha
Q. What,if anything, would you change about your life right now?
A. I want to live on Spider-Skull Island rent free
Q. If you went to college, what did you study?
A. Art and I made balloon animals with the free condoms from the health center
Q. What's your day job? I think you told me already but I forgot -- something with special effects? Is that right?
A. Art is pretty much it though I applied to be a lice technician. I just wanted the title.
Q. How come I'm so forgetful?
Q. Do you play Bridge?
A. No, i haven't the garter socks for it
Q. What's the longest period of time you've gone without sleep?
A. When I was younger there would be weeks - now I indulge. I like not hallucinating haha